I always worry about my parenting skills and whether or not Caleb will be in a psychiatrist chair when he's thirty rehashing every bad decision made by his mom and how it scarred him for life. I am being brutally honest here, I am scared out of my wits about this. But for the most part I know that I am doing the best that I can, and I feel pretty confident (most of the time) that I am doing a somewhat decent job.
(this was Caleb's post it notes to me)
I often wonder about how you can tell if a child has a good parent(s). Is it by watching the parent or is it by watching the child? I like to think that when I see the sweet and kind actions performed by Caleb it is a reflection of my husband and myself. I have no clue if this is the case for anyone else or even true, I am just a mom and not any sort of child specialist. But its just what I see in our son. Of course with that said, I am blatantly aware of the fact that my beliefs on this would justify that I also agree that anything that my son does that isn't so sweet and kind would also be a reflection of my husband and I. As much as I hate to admit it....
I have been looking back on this past year and really watching Caleb and all he has accomplished in his little life here on earth. I have realized that, while I always strive to be better, that I can actually pat myself (and the hubs) on the back for a job well done with our son. We have instilled in him a belief in a power much bigger than him and us (we are Catholic, fyi), he is so secure with telling us when he has messed up in school, even when he knows that he will be punished for it. Most importantly, Caleb is accepting and compassionate towards other children and adults who look, act or speak differently than he does.
I love to watch the things that he does and his thoughts he has. When Santa came this year he laid out all the gifts under the tree and on the floor in front of the gifts he sprinkled little plastic snowflake confetti all over the floor. (A magical touch, I thought.) When Caleb awoke on Christmas morning he saw the confetti on the floor and decided to clean it up before coming into our room to wake us up. He said that Santa had made a mess on the floor so he decided to clean it up so I wouldn't have to.
I don't know what Brad and I have done, exactly, to make Caleb be this wonderful of a person or if its even us that inspired him to be this way. I sometimes think that he was given to us by mistake because surely I don't deserve such a loving and kind little boy like Caleb. Whatever the reason may be, I am just so fortunate that I have him.
-Kim
